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  • Melissa Sidki

Goal Setting

This is a topic I have been dying to write about. (I am a major goal setter🙈 Ever since I can remember I have been setting goals, hence why this blog is an 11 minute read. Apologies 😂)

I am not writing this blog to state the obvious but to try and help you to dig deeper in understanding what you truly want.


It can be very easy to set goals especially for the New Year, and sometimes when done so during this period these goals tend to go by unachieved as we have been portrayed to believe that this is the right time to goal set so we rush into them, when in fact the majority of the time they are not truly what we want. So, our focus shifts and we forget about them.

Goal setting shouldn't just happen in the new year but throughout the year as we continue to grow.

Before I go ahead and discuss the steps that I would do when I goal set I want to talk about why I believe goal setting is soo important.

If we forget about the goal itself I believe that the process has so many positive attributes, the main one being that It helps us to grow.

When we are striving for something we are growing as a person, we come face to face with our fears and overcome milestones that we never thought we could imagine doing, we learn soo much about ourselves in the process.

We learn to become resilient. We learn to keep pushing on when we get knocked down. When we lack resiliency we run from our fears and problems, we avoid admitting mistakes and shy away from growth.


We learn to rely on ourselves and only on ourselves, no one is going to reach that goal but you. You learn to become accountable for your responsibilities.


We learn to build courage. Many are afraid to grow as they feel that they will fail to reach their full potential. I have to admit It's scary when you throw yourself into the unknown and although you may be reading my blogs and able to relate to them I went though all sorts of fears.

I feared that no one would turn up and compete when I organized Pole Cup. I feared that I wouldn't be able to find my way when I first moved to the Middle East. I feared that no one would be interested in reading what I have to write about on my site.

We fear anything that may make us fail at something when it is out in the public and open as we are scared of being judged.

Fear prevents us from truly committing to achieving our goals. It is inevitable that we will fail. But when you do fail, remember to FAIL FORWARDS.


Here's a small quote that I go by when it comes to fears:

"You will fail and you will loose, you will embarrass yourself and you will suck at something. There's no passion to be found playing small so throw yourself at life, take risks, get creative, dream big and never quit.

When you fail, fail forwards because people are scared shitless when you remember who the f*ck you are and what you can do when you set your mind to it"


We learn to build willpower. We learn to continue the journey all the way through to the end. When we hit those milestones we find solutions to overcome them, we learn to work through problems and this is an amazing quality that we can then take and apply to any aspect in our lives.

We learn to build connections. True connections. We have become some numbed out to thinking that when we hop on social media and talk to people though our phones thinking that It is enough.

You will be amazed at who you connect with when you find people with similar goals and values as you. You can support each other and build incredible relationships.


We learn to build integrity. Now you are probably thinking how does this help me to achieve my goals. But if you don't have your integrity, if you are not honest, open and transparent in everything you do, your success in reaching your goals will be difficult.

When you have integrity it will define who your true character is and people can see straight through your bullshit if you are not being true to yourself.


We learn to build self confidence. Everyone has self confidence and although it may not be something that you feel overnight when you believe in yourself, have faith in your abilities and use your personal qualities to find success you will smash your goals, you will gain confidence only by working at your goals. Trust it and feel it. Confidence can override any doubt you have in chasing your dreams. Believe in yourself.

We tend to also learn to cut anyone out in the process who bring us down, and those who do not bring out the best in us, you will end up surrounding yourself with people who push your limits and bring out who you truly are when you have confidence in yourself.


Lastly although we can't learn to have passion and drive I believe it is important to also address these two qualities as there is no success when there is no passion and drive.

When you find something that really gets you going thats when you will find your passion and when you have found it that feeling will excite you every day, it will make you want to improve and become a better person each day.

There is a fire burning inside of you that you that continually pushes you towards your goals. Don't let go of that fire, that's your passion and it will motivate you to the next challenge.

Now, if you are reading this and unsure of your passion that's ok. You will have to try a few different things before you find something that gets you going. But when you do you will be unstoppable and you'll know. Chase it. When you find your passion you will have drive.

"sacrifice, persevere and do it with passion"


STEP 1

So, What's next?

Firstly, there's no right or wrong way to goal set, some people just like to think about their goals and store them in their heads others like to write them down. I am pretty OCD when it comes to things like this so I write everything down. I also find that writing things down enables us to have a higher level of thinking and really reflect and get in touch with our thoughts but this is just my personal opinion.

You can use your computer, the notes on your phone or whatever it may be to get writing.

If you are one to write things down I would suggest getting a journal or notepad that you can write in specifically for your goals.


I am aware that many of you that read my blogs are into training, pole and fitness so I am going to try my best to focus the goal setting process on this area.

I used to only set myself fitness and career based goals. Things I wanted to master and achieve whether it was to do the middle splits, or get a muscle up or get lean etc. Whist these goals are great I want you to remember there's always something more. Dig deeper into understanding yourself and what you want. If you want to jump straight into goal setting part then scroll right down, but if you want to try and set more meaningful goals then continue reading.


Getting in tune with your passion. Below is your 2021 Checklist in order for you to set the right goals. They are split into 5 questions which I believe are important and has helped me goal set in the past.

  1. Write down your core values. These core values are the centre of your identity: they make you who you are, help you to make decisions that are right for you and ultimately what others remember you by. By articulating what your core values are, you'll be in a better position to set goals that will allow you to stay true to your personal ethics, as well as assist in your growth as a person. Take a few moments to write down about what kind of person you are, what core values are most important to you.

  2. What's your purpose? So this can be a very intimidating question and quite heavy to think about as you may not know, and that is ok. See it as when you find your purpose you are finding ways to use your unique skills and passions to live a fulfilled life. Use these questions below to help you understand your skills, passions and core values to help you live a year that is more meaningful to you. What situations get you really excited? What are you good at? What do you enjoy learning about? What do you love doing that also helps others? What do you love to do? How does it add value to others? Can you make a living from it?

  3. Review your wins and lessons that you learnt from 2020. Before you throw yourself at 2021 evaluate your year, by understanding your wins and the lessons you can have a deeper insight into how you can progress in 2021. What did you achieve in 2020? What were the lessons you learnt in 2020? What do you want to focus on in 2021? What can you not wait for in 2021? Is there anything that you want to avoid in 2021?

  4. Do you have any aspirations for the future? For the next 3 and 12 months write down where you want to be, what do you want to have, is there anything you want to see?

  5. Lastly create yourself a vision board. Just word vomit whatever you want on there, it doesn't have to make sense anything that springs to your mind. It could be somewhere you want to visit, people that inspire you, your health and wellness aspirations and career and business goals.


STEP 2

Once you have answered the questions above it is important to set goals that will help you grow as a person.

1. Set goals that you are passionate about. If you are simply setting goals for the sake of setting goals then you most likely won't end up achieving them. Ask yourself am I really committed to this goal? is it important enough for me that I will persevere through with it?

2. Set SMART goals. There is loads on this topic on google, but to sum things up for you SMART goals stand for: Specific, Mesurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time focused goals.

3. Don't be afraid to set yourself big goals. It may seem impossible to achieve them but once you break down that goal into smaller steps it will give you the drive and determination to achieve that goal. It will also push you outside of your comfort zone.

Dream big, what it is that you want and why do you want it?


STEP 3 - The goals

Below I have listed three different categories to think about when goal setting. You do not have to make a goal for each category that I have listed, you can simply start with one and think about another later on in the year. The only reason I have chosen to split them into these three is that I feel that they can help us to grow in every aspect of our life.

You can split these goals into short term goals and long term goals if you wish but make sure they are simple and attainable, the last thing you want is to feel overwhelmed and scared about your goals.

I am going to break down each one down below.

  1. A Career based goal

  2. A physical goal

  3. A mental/emotional goal

A career based goal

This goal can be soo important, it is your grind and your hustle at the end of the day so you have to be happy and enjoy it.

How you wake up, show up and walk into your job can be soo important. If you don't feel happy tap into those feelings and try to understand them, do you want to change anything?

Are you fulfilled? does it give you satisfaction? Is there something that you can do to help increase your knowledge in that field? Maybe you want to switch things up and get into something different.

Remember small micro goals can take you a long way, small steps towards the bigger picture can be all that you need.

I would also like to mention that if you're happy with where you are at then you don't need to change anything. If it's already going good then why change things?


A Physical goal

I feel as though physical goals can sometimes be the harder goal to achieve out of the three. This is because I feel that training can be frikken hard and painful at times, especially if you are just starting out. It's a kind of pain and discomfort that your body is not used to which you won't feel with any of the other goals. Because of this people tend to stop themselves from pushing further and past that threshold. They then doubt themselves and their abilities and give up. Before you know it you're back to square one.


People want things fast and they want them now and training goals tend to take time. When they don't come as quickly as people would have liked it can leave them loosing confidence in themselves and disappointed, this can then spiral into such negative thoughts and feelings.


When you set your physical goal, reach out to someone to help you get there. Speak to an expert in that field that is going to help guide you and when you have the resources believe in yourself!

Surround yourself with people who motivate you and inspire you to be better and do better. Don't give up on the challenge because it gets hard, it's meant to be hard otherwise everyone would be walking around looking awesome and doing cool shit. Go though the grind!


I would always always suggest to set yourself a physical goal as apposed to an appearance and aesthetics driven goal. You will find that the process will be way more rewarding and the results will only come when you focus on the physical goal first.


A mental and emotional goal

Although I believe that these two points stand for different things meaning that a mental goal would be regarded as how good you feel about yourself and an emotional goal may be classed as how well do you feel emotionally and physiologically, I have decided to categorize them under one point. However, please feel free to elaborate on them both individually when setting your goals.


I am not going to lie, out of the three categories this is the newest one that I have chosen to work on. Over the past few months I have realized how important goal setting is here.

Many of us tend to push away any thoughts and feelings we may have and switch off any emotions and go by our day to day life. Whilst sometimes this is what is needed it is equally important to reflect on things. Being in tune with your thoughts and emotions can set you up for success in any aspect of your life and help you to conquer your goals.


Your mind is soo powerful that if it is blurry and feels blocked it can effect any goal that you are wanting to achieve.


These goals can be something as simple as establishing a self care routine that will make you feel better each day, whether its journalling, training (majority of the time this is mine), going for a walk etc. It can be something as finding a hobby that helps to boost your mood, anything that will help to boost your self-esteem and confidence and get you working productively can fall under this category.




After reading this you may now have a clearer understanding of your goals and what you want from 2021. I could just tell you to write these goals down and give you an organized step by step that you have to do each month in order to reflect on how you have progressed, but I don't believe in that.


I believe that you need to visualize what you want. When you have that vision don't let it slip from your head.

You need to be soo hungry and determined to reach that goal that you think about it every day and when you find what you truly want this will come naturally. Don't rush the process, take your time. Who cares if don't reach it in the time frame that you wished to do so, that time frame is only there to help to keep you on track.


I hope that you enjoyed reading though this blog and it has helped you to dig a little deeper into those goals that you set for yourself. Be patient, stay true to what you know and what you want and I promise you will get there.

Visualize ---> Take action ---> Put it into practice