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  • Melissa Sidki

Body Image and Insecurities

I feel like this is a topic that is under looked immensely and tends to go by unnoticed. I can say that over the years that I have been coaching and being in the pole industry, I have met a huge diversity of women from many walks of life that have shared their deepest secrets and feelings with me. People from all sorts of backgrounds, upbringings, jobs, cultures and beliefs.


I found that many have a fixated image in their head of how they want to look, some dwell on the fact that they are not where they want to be, and many put themselves down by believing that they are not able to exercise or master a new skill that they want, so they give up. All of this self doubt sometimes spirals into going for that 'quick fix'. for instance, getting that butt implant or getting liposuction because people feel it may give them the attention that they are looking for, but the truth is looking 'fit' is nothing but hard hard work which is why I feel very strongly about this topic.


Don't get me wrong I am all for people to feel confident about themselves, we are all human, we all have emotions and expectations, but let me tell you one thing, there is no fast pass to looking FIT.


The need for having to look a certain way has been driven by idealized body images shown in the media, and subconsciously this has a huge impact on our day to day life and our expectations in ourselves and others. The majority of the time the attention that you will receive when your main focus are your looks will come from others who have deeper insecurities. Think about that for a second. Think about who you want to attract. NOTHING beats your raw and authentic self.


Now, because we have been portrayed to think that this is how we should look, it results in many people to forget why it is that they started training. From saying 'I want to be healthier, stronger, fitter to be more and do more', it turns to 'I want a big ass and skinny waist and results in the quickest time possible' this is why sadly the majority of the fitness scene has been built upon insecurities and the constant obsessiveness to look a certain way, hence the overuse of steroids with men and liposuction with women.


Don't go down that route. Remember why you train, why you started. Training has soo much more than to do with aesthetics. Besides your physical well-being, the effects it has on your mental health and your growth as a individual is phenomenal!

When you believe in yourself, set yourself goals, get into a routine, create structure, have persistence and you walk into that gym and attack your workout it can leave you feeling like you are on top of the world!

You will be amazed with what your body can do and how much you can push it. There will be a point when you feel like giving up and you will realize that your body has way more to give and that is when the results start happening.


Be a frikken BADASS and OWN IT! Go through the grind and hard work because that shit is admirable and attractive.

You don't need to prove yourself to anyone but yourself, prove to yourself that you can achieve anything when you put your mind to it, prove to yourself that you can do it. Be the best version of you and inspire and help other people to do the same.

Of course this isn't going to happen overnight, but by starting to believe in yourself and by creating small yet consistent habits will take you a long way. Below are some questions to think about if you are feeling lost within your fitness journey or to help you visualise what you want.

  1. Ask yourself, why do you train? Now there is absolutely no problem with training for aesthetics, but if you do want to grow your glutes I'll tell you from the start it's not going to come from lifting small and glute kick backs. Once you have your answer. Now is the time to set goals. Your goals don't have to be crazy and over the top, it could be something as simple as trying to spend a little more time in the gym, or trying to incorporate something new into your program. Make sure to set yourself realistic goals. Remember to focus on what your body can do and not what it looks like and I guarantee you the results will come. Be positive with yourself.

  2. Do you have a role model? Who are they? Why do you look up to them? I guess you could take this question and apply it to any aspect of your life, whether it's in your career, or with your relationships and friendships. I feel it is important to have a someone that you admire or look up to. There can be qualities in that person that you wish to portray and there is nothing wrong with that, that person may help to give you the confidence to feel stronger and more powerful. Is there something that they do that you can incorporate into your journey? Always remember that everyone is an individual and different, what may work for someone else may not work as well for you, so don't feel disheartened if you may not be getting the results as quick as you wanted. This is where programming is soo important or you will end up running around aimlessly in circles and not getting any closer to your goals.

  3. Are you holding onto any fears when it comes to training? What are you afraid of? Try and tune into what you're feeling. Sometimes training and being in an intense physical environment can feel quite intimidating at first. Maybe you just don't know where to start. Whatever it is that you are feeling try and talk to someone about it.


Remember, you will always be a prisoner to yourself if you rely soo heavily on validation from others to give you a sense of worth.

Be the best version of you and OWN IT.